The Unemployed Professional: Fellowship of Suffering

There is something powerful about having walked in the shoes of someone that is currently suffering. The pastor of our church in Atlanta, Andy Stanley, did a sermon on this very topic a couple years ago called, "In the Mean Time" (click here if you wish to watch the message) in which he describes a situation of parents losing a young child. Having three beautiful children myself, I can’t imagine that there can be anything worse than that.

But that is the point of the lesson. I can’t even imagine. I can't relate. If I am ever in a position of being a friend to someone walking through this tragedy, I can support them as a close friend. I can be a shoulder to cry on. I can listen. I can just be there. I can provide bible quotes and words of inspiration. I can pray with, and for, the family. But I cannot relate. I cannot fully understand. I cannot see the world through their eyes. In that area, I fall very, very short. 

It isn’t until someone who has been where they are shows up. Someone that has felt that level of pain and suffering. It is the moment they can look them in the eye, give them a hug, and tell them, 'I understand. I know what you are going through. And look at me… You will get through this." Those that have been down the path already can assure them, "You will never forget. You will never be fully healed, but you will survive. You will heal. And I am living proof." That is the moment that they can begin to feel comforted. Those words of wisdom can come from a complete stranger, and in a very real and concrete way, they can provide more comfort than family, friends and pastors in their time of need. This is call the fellowship of suffering.

I've been writing a lot recently to support those that I have met who find themselves in job transition and I recently gave a devotion to a networking group about this topic. I believe that in finding a room full of people going through a similar struggle, you will find support and understanding that you might not have anywhere else. This is a principle that applies, across the board, for anything you are going through. And with the right perspective, you can move past just about any struggle and begin to see the reason you are going through a trial; the purpose for the pain. 

The fellowship of suffering is a three part process towards healing. Step number one is receiving healing words from someone that has walked the walk. We have already discussed the first point; if you are currently going through a trial, you will receive more comfort from someone that has walked the path already than just about anyone else you will encounter.

Second, if you are the comforter, the one that has been there before, you too will receive an emotional lift through the very act of providing support. Isn't it the case that you feel better by serving others? We know this of course, but, at least for me, sometimes I narrow down service projects to the typical.... go to a nursing home. Clean up a neighbor's yard that cannot do so themselves. Serve meals at a food pantry... All these are amazing opportunities to serve those in need, but sometimes those that are in need do not outwardly look as though they need help. However, with the right previous set of experiences, those are the ones that you can have the biggest effect on. That alone is a powerful knowledge; to know that you can comfort and serve simply by having walked the walk, and by being there for the "next generation of sufferers".

The third part is one step deeper. It is the realization that you may have walked through a specific set of events specifically because you are needed to help others through your experiences. In knowing that your experience is now providing you the power and the unique ability to walk someone else through a struggle, you now can begin to provide a purpose for your pain. 

The question is asked all the time. Why do good things happen to good people?

What if the answer is because it is those good people that will, in turn, do something with that pain? 

You hear stories of this all the time. A celebrity such as Michael J Fox, who has Parkinson's Disease and becomes an outspoken ambassador for the cause. A support group for those suffering from drug abuse that is led by a recovering addict. Or maybe a regular suburban dad and husband, that found himself in career transition who found a passion for serving those who were walking the same walk. 

I have enjoyed this phase of my personal and professional life. As I change my mental status from unemployed to employed I am thankful for the opportunity to have fellowship with those that I have met over the last few months. I have never met a more capable, passionate, giving, talented and articulate set of people than I have at C3G, One Thing for Men and the other networking functions I have found during this season of my life. It has been an honor to relate, receive, and give back to these folks. I have been on all ends of the fellowship of pain with my new friends. I have received comfort, I have given comfort, and through my website class and this blog I have been able to put a purpose to my struggle of job search. 

If you have suffered loss. If you have seen tragedy in your life. If you have gone through a struggle, I encourage you to seek out those that are now going through a similar season. Serve them. Comfort them. Be the one to look at them and tell them, 

"Look at me. I have been where you are. I understand. You will get through this as well."

I continue to encourage each one of you to keep climbing. 

John

"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like Him in death.” – Philippians 3:10

Timely Transitions: By Rebekah Clough

Transitions are hard. You expect one thing and get another. The difference between what you expect and what you get is typically called “DISAPPOINTMENT.” I’m learning to call it “JOY.”

My story…

As a college graduate, I planned a life-long career as a sign language interpreter. Most things were going as anticipated, until I burned out my arms by excessive use (think Carpal Tunnel pain throughout both arms). I experienced significant loss that I could no longer use my God-given ability. This loss impacted me physically, emotionally and mentally.

Since then, I’ve worked in a few different jobs, trying to find my next career. In the process, I’ve met some wonderful people, both colleagues and bosses. I’ve also discovered some skills that I would have never unearthed, had I remained as a sign language interpreter.

So, all of this has helped me reframe my thought process about job transitions. While they are challenging (and even frightening), they can be insightful and generate great personal satisfaction.

Steps:

1)   I have learned that life is a journey, not a destination. 

I love the quote, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.” That has inspired me even in the darkest times of my career.

A few years ago, my husband and I were both laid off at the same time. We chose to see the time together as a gift, instead of just a set-back.

Nature is one of the best reminders for me of transitions. The changing seasons, realizing ALL seasons are needed for growth—not just Spring and Summer. I love this poem that emphasizes the value of each season. Every Season of My Soul. Also, a great resource for bringing healthy perspective to change is Necessary Endings by Henry Cloud.

2)   I have reached out to friends and family.

I have realized — and perhaps you will realize the same thing — that being vulnerable is hard, but necessary.  You may realize the folks that you thought would help you most, don’t even respond. But you may also find people – who you least expect – become your biggest cheerleaders. My recent coworkers have become my biggest advocates, and that has meant the world to me.

3)    I have learned the value to do one hard thing every day.

I often dread doing something hard, but find that not only am I energized by it, I feel better about myself, and humanity in general. Laying aside our insecurities is frightening. For some, picking up the phone to make a cold call, going to the dentist, confronting someone, wondering what others think, if you strike up a conversation in the elevator. What is your hard thing that you must “gather up your courage” to accomplish?

Recently I was an attendee in an auditorium during a Christmas program and realized there was a deaf person on the front row, obviously confused because there was no interpreter. I saw the need and was compelled to meet it. However, was I willing to gather my courage and stand up in the middle of the program, in front of everyone, and move to the front row to give this guy a gift?  I struggled with it, but did accept the challenge. What I found: great satisfaction seeing my interpreting come alive again, and even more satisfaction hearing this guy had attended this Christmas program for 10 years and had never understood the story. He was incredibly grateful. I knew I had connected with a person and done the right thing. That is very empowering.

Find some great people – anywhere – and also expand your network in the process. Pick just one hard thing each day, and you will find that your cumulative courage inspires you to be stronger each day.  

4. I have learned to take inventory of my skills.

I realized that I have multiple talents and skills. And I’m sure you do too. Look at the things you do that may not be “tangible” for your resume, as well as the things that are.

For example, I’m good at managing projects and making sure they are completed. That’s a tangible project management skill. But I’m also good at encouraging others to meet their goals. I’m sure some people would call that “coaching”, but I like to consider it being a good colleague.

I also found that I have some skills that I can develop for future jobs. For example, I’m good at budgets and cutting costs. So recently, I’ve taken accounting courses to get formal training.

Thus, look at your wide range of skills. Some can be listed on Linkedin or developed for your next career. Others can be skills that bring you great personal satisfaction. Either way, they help define you and what you can bring to your next company. Here is an assessment that I've found helpful because it evaluates four different areas: skills, interest, personality, and values. https://www.crossroadscareer.org/careerdirect/

As much as transitions are frightening, I’ve learned to manage them a lot better and understand that disappointment can really become joy. To do so, you and I must learn to reframe our thinking.….We don’t always get what we want. But the happiest folks are those who are happy with what they have. 

About The Author:

Rebekah Clough is new to blogging, but excited about trying new things. She likes productivity, people and spending time in a coffee shop, with a good cup of tea.  She has tremendous faith in people and God, and believes life is to be lived well.To learn more about Rebekah, click here

The Life of the Unemployed Professional: The Friend and Family Connection

You are more than just bullet points on a resume. You are color and life. You are the summary of your previous life experiences. All of this makes you.... you. 

This has been the first time that I have been on the "market" for a new position. I have always been fortunate to have been recruited away from a current role to the next step. As I am approaching my sixth month as an independent free agent after the downsizing of a start up, I find that the "full time job" of looking for my next consulting gig or my next leadership role, is not that different than how I spent my time as a sales and marketing executive... only a lot less time on conference calls. 

When you break the job search down, I am my product. My job is to get my product in front of as many potential "customers",  (hiring managers) as possible. As I have honed the process of marketing myself, I have collected the top 5 ways that I have found to market the product of John Constantine the most effective way possible. 

Over the next few weeks, we will take a deep dive into the following areas: 

1. Talking to Family and Friends

2. Developing Your Elevator Pitch 

3. Networking in Your City

4. The Importance of the Face to Face Meetings 

5. Look Out for Others More Than You Look for Yourself

Today, let's jump right into number one. 

I recently ran into a close friend at Starbucks while we were back in Indianapolis for the holidays. First an awkward man-hug/handshake (because that tends to happen to me... I'm a hugger...) and then the question "Hey man!! How are things?" ....

I let my pride do the talking. "Great! We are loving Atlanta! We have great neighbors, have found an amazing church, kids have adjusted well, We have a new unicorn that provides us with rainbows and butterfly toots anytime we want, its an AMAZING life...."

I didn't actually say the unicorn part but it would have fit with how well I stated things were at the moment.

I also exaggerated how well the consulting firm I'm working on was going at that point. We walked away from the conversation with a less awkward man-hug this time and he said he was happy for how well things were going for us. And there it was... A lost opportunity. In his mind, things were going so well, I didn't need anything from him. 

So.... I'm a bone head... While we have found an amazing church, our neighbors and neighborhood are fantastic, and our kids act as though they have always lived in Georgia, the part I overstated; the consulting firm was not actually a business yet. In fact, I had a couple proposals out, but I didn't, yet, have one paying client. And I needed more leads. 

Now here is the rub. This buddy of mine is very well connected and I missed an opportunity to tell him about how I could use his network. I let my ego take over. Now, I was going to need to back track, swallow my pride, and go back to him for help, which I imagined being more awkward than that hug-shake thing. When I called, he was more than happy to help! In fact, he connected me with two people right away. The moral of the story is this; I almost let a great opportunity pass me by because I didn't want to let him know I could use his help. 

Haven't you found that you do the same thing? Especially with those that we are close to? We sugar coat everything. We hide our concern. We are too prideful sometimes to ask for help. It is as if we feel as though we need to wear a mask and not allow those that are close, come behind our wall, join our team, and walk along side us to help.

These situations happen to us all the time. We have an opportunity to tell someone what we are looking for; an opportunity to allow them to serve us, and we let it pass us (and them) by. In the sales world, it is called "asking for the sale". As long as sales peeps have been selling stuff, it has been a best practice; once a prospect has reached a certain point in the sale's cycle you say something along the lines of,  "So you know what we are capable of. You know that we are a good fit. Are you ready to sign up?" It seems crazy to be this forward to those that are not in this type of role, but the secret is that it works in the sales process and it works in these situations as well. 

Ok, Now, let me be clear. I am not suggesting that you become Debbie-Downer. Don't turn into Eeyore from Pooh and talk about the sky falling. (I think I'm mixing up my childhood stories but you get the idea) There is a simple way that you can talk to friends and not make them feel sorry for you. Instead they can align with you on your goal of getting back to work. And then you have the opportunity to ask for help.

Here are a couple things you can keep in mind before you find yourself in these situations.

Number one: Know what you are going to say in advance. Don't allow yourself to get surprised in these interactions. Come up with your conversation piece you will use when you randomly run into someone at the grocery, in the gym, or at church.  Make sure that it is authentic and honest, but positive at the same time. This is called the elevator pitch and....

Don't use the same one that you will use in your professional life... they might not have any idea what you are talking about if you use key MBA buzz words and industry acronyms. 

"I have over 13 years of executive experience building companies as a sales and marketing leader.  I have led the charge from $4-65M in a national sales leadership role building a sale team as well as the systems that support that team. I'm also an experienced executive marketer building brands, creating products and then releasing them to the world. I'm looking for a few small to mid-sized companies that might need corporate experience but can't afford a full time Chief Sales or Marketing Officer.  I come into companies and make the current process of growing better as a part time consultant and an extension of the leadership team." 

That is mine. Develop yours! More to come on developing your perfect elevator pitch in future blogs.

Number two: Practice it at home.... Out Loud, not just in your head! The truth is, I say this to people all the time and rarely do people do it because it is weird. But it works. Practice it on your spouse. Practice it in front of the mirror. Practice it to the guy sitting next to you at the stop light in traffic who has his window down. Practice makes perfect, as they say.  You know this... the more your practice your interactions before they occur, the better off you will feel during the interactions. The more confident and nature you will become and the more that they will want to help you.

Number 3: While talking with friends and family, think about their network. I have made it a best practice, in almost every interaction with someone, to ask if there is someone they know that might be a great new connection for me. You know, just to grab coffee with. We will talk about this in later writings, but the more people you meet with, the broader your network. The broader your network, the more famous you are. And the more famous you are, the larger your pool of potential employers.

Finally, Number 4: Follow up. While your friends and family love you and want the best for you, connecting you is not their top priority. And between their own busy and full lives it has a tendency to slip their mind. If they offer, though, it means they want to help. Do not feel bad about following up with a reminder. And do it quickly. For example, if you are talking with your brother at a family birthday and he says he has a buddy to introduce you to, send a follow up text later that night: "Hey Bro! Great to see you today. I appreciate your willingness to hook me up with ______. talk soon!" You might be saving them from feeling bad later if they forget. 

Those that are closest are your biggest fans. They believe in you and they want to help you. In fact, they will feel amazing about themselves if they actually are able to help. The only thing stopping them might be your ego.

Don't let your ego rob those you love from feeling amazing about helping you!

Prepare in advance.

Don't hesitate to ask for the help.

Always be positive.

And follow up proactively. You never know where it might take you.

And as always, keep climbing.

John 

About me: 

My name is John Constantine and I am a sales and marketing executive living in suburban Atlanta. Throughout my career, I have been able to drive growth repeatedly in a variety of capacities. As a sales leader, I have built, expanded, and improved high performing teams to promote expansion and profitability. As a marketing executive, I have led teams in the creation and launching of new brands and products. I have managed inbound lead generation campaigns and created online and print branding standards that stand out from the pack and engage employees to take pride in their organization. As an executive of strategic initiatives and a field operations leader, I have implemented programs and processes that have differentiated my organizations and provided predictable revenue forecasting to the C-suite; all the while increasing productivity and accountability of the front-line team members in the organization. I now leverage these experiences to help other companies stand out and manage growth. 

To learn more, go to http://www.johnaconstantine.com/

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The Life of the Unemployed Professional

I am going through a life journey that is full of twists and turns, but it sure is exciting. Don't get me wrong. Occasionally I wake up with the "I'm freaked out about the future" sweats in the middle of the night and wonder about what is right around the corner, but every day, I am out there, meeting new people and networking to either identify a new consulting opportunity or possibly land my next corporate position.

Come close... I want to tell you a secret.... I am LOVING this process helping those that are in the same boat I find myself. I have found that I get very passionate about helping those in transition learn to love the process of identifying the next stage of their career. Like a kickstand to a bike, I enjoy propping those up that need support and allowing them to stand tall and proud, regardless of their situation. 

This morning I want to share two simple truths that smarter people than myself have shared but that I believe passionately. Hopefully this will help you if you find yourself in a transition or you are living through the semicolon of your career. Lets consider this the start of a conversation. 

Truth #1: I met a guy recently that said it perfectly. "Anxiety comes from the chaos, not the fear of the future." This couldn't be more true! As I network and talk with others, it seems that, generally, we all believe deep down inside that at any stage of life, we will eventually be ok. Or as my mother used to tell me... "this too shall pass...". I also believe that, as a Christian, if we are faithful, we will be protected. So it is not the fear of the future that "enriches" your life with those nights of unrest. It is the chaos. It is a lack of organization. Not having a plan for the next day or a list to check off; that is what generates the sleepless nights! Get organized! We can talk about how in a later installment. 

Truth #2: As I hear people's stories I continue to find that, just like me, all these people are more than just bullet points on a resume. They are color and life. They are back stories and dreams of amazing futures. They are tragic as much as they are heroic. In each interaction, I discovered something important. I have valuable skills that can assist those that find themselves in a life stage of transition. I can help them tell their amazing story and if I don't use my skills for this purpose, I am doing all of them a disservice. Whether it is teaching a free web development class, or writing about how to make companies and recruiters chase you, I can assist those that find themselves in transition to move on.

I'll tell you what! You have skills that can help those around you too. As you sit and meet with people, think through how you can add value to them; not just how they can add value to you. If you give, you will receive. You want to know where my consulting clients are coming from? Friends of people that I have offered to help.  

So here is the thing: I have found a formula that gives me a new perspective. I have established goals that give me milestones to chase. And I have learned skills from over a decade of sales and marketing leadership that I can share with you and you can implement during your search. You see, finding a job is a sales and marketing process. And sales/marketing today is not all about personality and likability. It is about track-ability and accountability. We will talk about that later too. 

As part of my journey to give back, I am going to start writing about what I am learning in this process. Each week I will provide you something simple like a truth or a tool that can be used or a perspective that might change yours. Maybe one of these will be what you need to get to your next stage. I'm also hosting another free website build class on February 9th. If you are in the North Atlanta area and would like to join, you can register here. 

We are on a journey for sure. But stay tuned and we will land softly together.

Keep Climbing!

John

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